Unsafe

It’s dark and I feel alone
The night is damp and cold
There’s a tapping at the window
I’m sure it’s just a tree,
Was that a shadow
that just passed over me?
There are noises in the house.
Did someone get  inside
Or is it just a mouse, or a thief roaming outside?
Should I go check?
as I pull the covers over my head.
Beside me my son sleeps soundly,
He’s so trusting
In the security I’m providing.
My heart is pounding
my head is clouding
I do not trust my own instincts.
Should I grab a bat?
I haven’t any gun.
No one told me I’d be the protector of my house
When you left me here alone.
I wish you were here to check the noise,
I wish your strength remained strong,
But your heart was weak
And your devotion undone.
A branch brushes the roof,
The wind howls on the eaves
I hold my sleeping babe ever tightly,
As the terrors rock me to sleep.

Super Powers

I wish I could read your mind
I wish what you were thinking, wasn’t such a surprise.
What is happening behind those darkened eyes?
I wish I knew your every thought
Whether I stood before you or not.
When I think of you, do you think of me too,
Or am I a thought that’s lost?
I wish I had power over your heart.
That it would be mine even when we’re apart
If I could I would, that without me it wouldn’t start
Whenever you awoke in another’s arms.
Powers over the mind and heart, I have not.
Fading, are the few charms I’ve got.
It’s a losing war I’ve fought,
Relinquishing the love I thought I caught,
Abandoning forever, the dream I once sought.
Consoling the heartache you wrought.

alone

I don’t want to be alone

Facing the world on my own

No friend to care,no love to share

Reaping what I’ve sewn.

I’ve played with fire far too long

Letting it burn what once was strong

Watching it destroy where I once belonged

Harvesting my every wrong.

This is not what I wanted

Losing this game of pretend

Perfectly poised, perfectly perfect

Coming to an end.

I refuse to let it happen

I can not end the charade

But this house of cards is built on shaky ground

And the walls have begun to sway.

I’ll have no one to blame

For me, no one will come

There will be no one to hear my cries

As I pass on alone.

evil

Evil is a fallen Angel

A wretch’s fall from grace

Her eyes are dark, her hair is black,

The looking glass reflects her face.

It is sweetly sickening

Mistakenly innocent and naive

But behind her countenance of poison

A darkness lurks beneath.

It is vain as it conspires

To harm those in her path

To woo them then forsake them

Beware the sinner’s wrath.

She is Cunning and she is clever

A devil in disguise

She is a temptress, a dark angel

Beyond her beauty, lies.

She’ll say she loves you but she hates you

For every hurt you’ll pay

She’ll leave you and forget you

As she seeks another soul to slay

Innocence offers no protection

Good intentions matter none

You think that u can save her

But for her ur just a pawn.

Her tears ran out long ago

When first she was deceived

By the Prince she once trusted

Her heart stolen by the thief.

Icy runs her blood now,

As darkness takes love’s place

No compassion, no remorse,

Her kindness turned to rage.

Beware her sultry stare

Its how she knows she’s won

All she wants is for u to love her

Then she’ll leave u and be gone.

lost

What am I doing here?

This isn’t even me

I’m not this kind of girl

Inside my conscience screams

Its my first time in this place

Every Window lined with bars

Cigarette smoke fills the room,

In this place for broken hearts.

A tattered sheet drapes the bed

The walls are worn and weary

From watching all the broken lives

And the burdens that they carry.

A single crack runs along the mirror

Broken, shattered, alone,

It looks the way I feel inside

Damaged, destroyed, undone

The TV is blaring loudly

The shades are drawn in close

The alcohol sweats on the nightstand

As his touch hurries my pulse.

I can feel myself falling

Further down the rabbit hole

There’s no one near to help me up,

I clamor for invisible rope.

I don’t know how I got here

And I don’t know who I am

I don’t know where I lost myself

Or if I’ll ever find me again.

cruel memories

 

You threw me away

Like garbage in the street

Now ur calling me again

Please, Grant me peace.

I gave u my heart

U Gave it right back

ravaged, savaged,

A heartless attack.

U said goodby

U let me go

So why are u Here

Release ur hold

I want to walk away

hell, I want to fucking run

But my feet are frozen in their place

My will, my spirit, done.

This is not the girl

That I have ever been

I’m tough, I’m strong

I’m  broken, putty in your hands.

U left me

I thought u never would

I thought u loved me

Even when u said u never could.

Somewhere within I wither

Sweet memories cruelly play

It hurts too much to let you go

It hurts too much to stay.

 

mistake

I feel used

Like a trophy for ur mantle

Did u ever even care

Or was it just a conquest for u, a gamble

You rolled the dice and won

Another heart upon ur shelf

U enjoyed me when u could

Then went home to someone else.

With a tender touch

and sweetly seductive kisses

U claimed what wasn’t urs

Cunningly taking ur mistress

Booze and cheap hotels

That’s how u treated ur Princess

Darkened corners and shadowy bars

Were allies to ur wishes

At ur Beck and call

The damsel laid in wait

While u caressed another

Taunting the gods of fate.

And off you ride again

Leaving another in your wake

Caring nothing for her hurt and tears

Just another mistake.

too weak to say goodbye

I knew in the end it would be this way

Pain.  Heartache.

Still,I had no strength to stay away.

I was weak, I was hurting

I needed u

But u didn’t,

U had me; but I never had u

Kicked to the curb

A bad habits demise

feelings once felt, turn to despise

I thought what we had ,would always be

It was a lie undoubtedly

My own heart’s betrayal,  make-believe.

U spoke of future plans.

That was unfair

To trap my heart; a sinister snare

I don’t really blame u

I can only blame me

For seeing only what I wanted to see

The myth is gone. the magic undone

A tale unraveled.  A story unspun.

Alone I sit, the dark closing in

As one chapter closes, another begins

No rest 4 the weary

How can u just do that?

How can u just leave?

I’m struggling, I’m hurting

Wearing my heart upon my sleeve.

My restless mind feels heavy

I long to lay my weary head

But I can take no comfort

Haunted, by words left unsaid.

I yearn for the peace of sleep

Weightless and painless

To be loSt in a dream

But rest runs from my tired mind

Rest, relief,

I deserve nothing so kind

In pain I tarry

in suffering I wake

My friends, my solace

Only ache and heartbreak

How can u pretend

How do you go on

I cant even climb out of bed

Betrayed by the dawn

The sun is my enemy

Blue skies mock my grief

The world is unfeeling

No compassion, no relief.

Thoughts of you pursue me

I try to chase them from my mind

But unlike u they will not leave me

They persist in unkind rewind

I’m tired,

weakened to my knees

I plead with my heart

Relent, let go, peace!

But my pleadings go unheard

Contrition matters none

These memories are my prison

The price for what I’ve done.

There’s No rest for the forsaken

No charity for the cheat

No heart for the heartbroken

No forgiveness for a sinner’s pleas.

Spoiled

I want to be spoiled.

Want him to live for only me,

I want doors held open,

I want to be the lover in his dreams.

I want him to keep his promise,

that I would be sheltered and protected,

But I shiver in the night,

Left, rejected, neglected.

Was it too much to ask,

that he be here by my side,

that he hold me, spoil me

and treat me as his bride.

It was all a lie

the vows we once said

Flowery words, a made up church,

white dress, all pretend.

The honeymoon was over,

before it’d even begun,

The fairy tale, the fable,

Our story unspun.

Too late to go back,

Past no return,

Regret, relent,

Lesson learned.