A Charade

It seems to me all a charade,

Just say what you’re wanting to say.

Why continue living this game,

Why go on in  agonizing pain?

You say, ‘Who knows what will happen now?

We’ll see what the future holds,”

but even now, you can’t even look at me,

As the heartache has taken its toll.

Love was lost so long ago,

what is it we are waiting for,

it’s too late to turn back now,

it’s too hard to close this door.

And so the draft come barreling in,

As our hearts grow colder still,

towards love, towards each other, towards all others,

as ever weaker grows the will.

And so we continue to lay our heads,

on the same cold and heartless bed,

Only to rise once again,

In the morning, our thoughts left unsaid.

And so, the emptiness continues to grow,

With indifference latched in tow,

And sweet bitterness takes ahold,

Until we are ready to let it go.

Advertisements

Not tonight

You say you walk on egg shells,

but you’re a fucking liar.

You walk on the coals you lit,

one after another.

you say that you are tired

of the constant accusations

just give you a chance you say,

neglecting my heart-wrenching frustrations.

Another skirt, another eyelash,

Batted just your way.

You say, “I have no control over that.”

As you dig into another slice of cake.

You’ve no concern for the hell I’ve endured,

hoping one day you’d notice the pain,

Of the woman in the shadows waiting,

the diamond, now a dead-weighted chain.

She’s the woman you once chased,

with promises of undying love and affection

Now, you simply await your escape,

to finally be rid of your affliction.

She is waiting too,

Like  a moth to a flame, she’s tried.

But what’s been done, can never be undone,

as what was once undying, dies.

She is wretched now, as her shoulders slump this night.

She is preparing to tell her 9 year old son.

Daddy isn’t coming home tonight.

For her

I don’t know her name

And I don’t know her face

But I know that she’s hurting

And that her smile hides her pain.

Her story, a mystery,

Just a beating heart in the crowd.

She walks with purpose and defiance

Nothing can take her down.

She’s already been to hell and back

It was supposed to be a one way trip

But she found her way once again

Another fire lit.

She gazes straight ahead

No longer fooled by alluring charms

She’s traded her glitter for the shadows

That will do her more good than harm.

In them her tears fall unseen

Her red eyes hidden from the light

Her sobs merely blend with the others

Who have taken refuge from their plight.

She is wary as she is weary

From a journey wretched and long

She sits for a minute to rest for a moment

And read a ‘not4fainthearts’ blog.

I want to tell her she’s not alone

I want to tell her she’s found a friend

I want to tell her have no regrets

And that one day she’ll smile again.

And then I’ll tell her I’m sorry

For getting her in this mess

And I’ll gently kiss the looking glass

As I lay my sins to rest.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/daily-prompt-one/

Honesty

Don’t get too comfortable

I always have one foot out the door.

You may think that you have won,

As I bide my time to settle the score.

You look at me in shock

As if this is news to you

You thought it was over with

As if the expiration on pain were past due.

Was it really so easy,

For you to get over the guilt.

Have you forgotten what you put me through

And disregarded the wall that was built?

You thought you had mounted the hurdle,

An insignificant fence,

But I only allowed you a foothold,

So as to knock you down again.

You look at me astounded

Apalled by just a glimpse

Of the cunning and conniving

That has consumed me ever since.

You thought this was behind us,

My anguish kept unseen,

My torment upkept in secret

To provide for the unfolding scene.

I see the pain behind your eyes

Of not knowing where you stand

As your wary mind searches for a sign,

Trying to understand.

You’ve been walloped in the gut,

Awakened from your sleep,

Your universe has shifted

And you grieve for your inner peace.

After all the pain you caused

I finally have the upper hand

Your consciousness is shaken

Your head is in your hands.

But there is no finale,

For the hurt I’ve put you through,

Though vengeance is finally mine

I’m still hurting too.

Seeing red

I could feel the heat rising,

Red anger on my face,

The tears stung in my eyes,

Like my hand across your face.

Our son sat waiting

For his 4th birthday to begin

You’d lied to me for months

Why on this day admit your sin?

I told u to keep quiet

Just shut your fucking mouth

For once think of someone

Other than yourself.

U didn’t care what I had to say

U didn’t care about your son

U didn’t care what day it was

U wanted solace for what you’d done.

As if I didn’t know

As if I believed your every lie

Ur a fucking coward

The guilt ate you alive.

U didn’t just ruin the day

U ruined all our lives

U ruined everything before or since

With your constant Web of lies.

I’d given you everything,

Supported you through thick and thin

But I was not enough

You wanted more than one could give.

You wanted money but had no job,

You wanted love but couldn’t share,

Not your life, your love, or your commitment,

Did you even fucking care?

I gathered up my son,

Packed our things away

I headed for the door

There was nothing left to say.

Betrayed

You are cold and calculating

Showing no remorse

For all the pain you’ve caused

By your deceitful words.

You can lie right to my face

Without so much as batting an eye

You can gently whisper sweet seductions

And then walk out with no goodbye

You’re selfish and you’re greedy

Thinking only of yourself

As you betray us one by one

Then move on to someone else.

Your mind has lost consideration

Your conscience lost its say

Your heart has lost all compassion

And your soul has lost its way.

I fought to win you back

But you fought for your release

I tired and grew weary

As you grew stronger in my defeat.

I turn to you now

Hurt Beyond belief

“How could you betray me?”

The mirror softly speaks.

 

You don’t want to know

In his hands, the evidence

As his brow furrows in alarm

What is this?  Who were you with?

As I turn on my charm.

I laugh aloud to assuage his doubts

It’s nothing, I smoothly say,

Only me, drinking alone

That night you were away.

Confusion remains, etched upon his face,

And I cant help but revel in my lie.

Its my turn now, my secret’s out,

But you’ll never see me cry.

It’s your turn to doubt and ignore

your own wary mind.

The way I did when I was betrayed

And believed your every lie.

You made me mistrust my every sense

Called me crazy and unwise

To suspect you with such suspicion

And distrust your alibis.

The tears back then seemed endless

As I fought for vows once said

As I tried to rekindle what had long been forsaken

And you left for another’s bed.

My heart is pounding now

your eyes search me For a sign

A glimpse,  a hint,  an inevitable slip

But I am not that kind.

I know that you know.

You know what I won’t say

Don’t ask,  don’t tell, don’t trust yourself,

Unless you’re ready to walk away.

http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/489937/62738/

Unsafe

It’s dark and I feel alone
The night is damp and cold
There’s a tapping at the window
I’m sure it’s just a tree,
Was that a shadow
that just passed over me?
There are noises in the house.
Did someone get  inside
Or is it just a mouse, or a thief roaming outside?
Should I go check?
as I pull the covers over my head.
Beside me my son sleeps soundly,
He’s so trusting
In the security I’m providing.
My heart is pounding
my head is clouding
I do not trust my own instincts.
Should I grab a bat?
I haven’t any gun.
No one told me I’d be the protector of my house
When you left me here alone.
I wish you were here to check the noise,
I wish your strength remained strong,
But your heart was weak
And your devotion undone.
A branch brushes the roof,
The wind howls on the eaves
I hold my sleeping babe ever tightly,
As the terrors rock me to sleep.

alone

I don’t want to be alone

Facing the world on my own

No friend to care,no love to share

Reaping what I’ve sewn.

I’ve played with fire far too long

Letting it burn what once was strong

Watching it destroy where I once belonged

Harvesting my every wrong.

This is not what I wanted

Losing this game of pretend

Perfectly poised, perfectly perfect

Coming to an end.

I refuse to let it happen

I can not end the charade

But this house of cards is built on shaky ground

And the walls have begun to sway.

I’ll have no one to blame

For me, no one will come

There will be no one to hear my cries

As I pass on alone.

evil

Evil is a fallen Angel

A wretch’s fall from grace

Her eyes are dark, her hair is black,

The looking glass reflects her face.

It is sweetly sickening

Mistakenly innocent and naive

But behind her countenance of poison

A darkness lurks beneath.

It is vain as it conspires

To harm those in her path

To woo them then forsake them

Beware the sinner’s wrath.

She is Cunning and she is clever

A devil in disguise

She is a temptress, a dark angel

Beyond her beauty, lies.

She’ll say she loves you but she hates you

For every hurt you’ll pay

She’ll leave you and forget you

As she seeks another soul to slay

Innocence offers no protection

Good intentions matter none

You think that u can save her

But for her ur just a pawn.

Her tears ran out long ago

When first she was deceived

By the Prince she once trusted

Her heart stolen by the thief.

Icy runs her blood now,

As darkness takes love’s place

No compassion, no remorse,

Her kindness turned to rage.

Beware her sultry stare

Its how she knows she’s won

All she wants is for u to love her

Then she’ll leave u and be gone.