A Charade

It seems to me all a charade,

Just say what you’re wanting to say.

Why continue living this game,

Why go on in  agonizing pain?

You say, ‘Who knows what will happen now?

We’ll see what the future holds,”

but even now, you can’t even look at me,

As the heartache has taken its toll.

Love was lost so long ago,

what is it we are waiting for,

it’s too late to turn back now,

it’s too hard to close this door.

And so the draft come barreling in,

As our hearts grow colder still,

towards love, towards each other, towards all others,

as ever weaker grows the will.

And so we continue to lay our heads,

on the same cold and heartless bed,

Only to rise once again,

In the morning, our thoughts left unsaid.

And so, the emptiness continues to grow,

With indifference latched in tow,

And sweet bitterness takes ahold,

Until we are ready to let it go.

Not tonight

You say you walk on egg shells,

but you’re a fucking liar.

You walk on the coals you lit,

one after another.

you say that you are tired

of the constant accusations

just give you a chance you say,

neglecting my heart-wrenching frustrations.

Another skirt, another eyelash,

Batted just your way.

You say, “I have no control over that.”

As you dig into another slice of cake.

You’ve no concern for the hell I’ve endured,

hoping one day you’d notice the pain,

Of the woman in the shadows waiting,

the diamond, now a dead-weighted chain.

She’s the woman you once chased,

with promises of undying love and affection

Now, you simply await your escape,

to finally be rid of your affliction.

She is waiting too,

Like  a moth to a flame, she’s tried.

But what’s been done, can never be undone,

as what was once undying, dies.

She is wretched now, as her shoulders slump this night.

She is preparing to tell her 9 year old son.

Daddy isn’t coming home tonight.

cruel memories

 

You threw me away

Like garbage in the street

Now ur calling me again

Please, Grant me peace.

I gave u my heart

U Gave it right back

ravaged, savaged,

A heartless attack.

U said goodby

U let me go

So why are u Here

Release ur hold

I want to walk away

hell, I want to fucking run

But my feet are frozen in their place

My will, my spirit, done.

This is not the girl

That I have ever been

I’m tough, I’m strong

I’m  broken, putty in your hands.

U left me

I thought u never would

I thought u loved me

Even when u said u never could.

Somewhere within I wither

Sweet memories cruelly play

It hurts too much to let you go

It hurts too much to stay.

 

too weak to say goodbye

I knew in the end it would be this way

Pain.  Heartache.

Still,I had no strength to stay away.

I was weak, I was hurting

I needed u

But u didn’t,

U had me; but I never had u

Kicked to the curb

A bad habits demise

feelings once felt, turn to despise

I thought what we had ,would always be

It was a lie undoubtedly

My own heart’s betrayal,  make-believe.

U spoke of future plans.

That was unfair

To trap my heart; a sinister snare

I don’t really blame u

I can only blame me

For seeing only what I wanted to see

The myth is gone. the magic undone

A tale unraveled.  A story unspun.

Alone I sit, the dark closing in

As one chapter closes, another begins

No rest 4 the weary

How can u just do that?

How can u just leave?

I’m struggling, I’m hurting

Wearing my heart upon my sleeve.

My restless mind feels heavy

I long to lay my weary head

But I can take no comfort

Haunted, by words left unsaid.

I yearn for the peace of sleep

Weightless and painless

To be loSt in a dream

But rest runs from my tired mind

Rest, relief,

I deserve nothing so kind

In pain I tarry

in suffering I wake

My friends, my solace

Only ache and heartbreak

How can u pretend

How do you go on

I cant even climb out of bed

Betrayed by the dawn

The sun is my enemy

Blue skies mock my grief

The world is unfeeling

No compassion, no relief.

Thoughts of you pursue me

I try to chase them from my mind

But unlike u they will not leave me

They persist in unkind rewind

I’m tired,

weakened to my knees

I plead with my heart

Relent, let go, peace!

But my pleadings go unheard

Contrition matters none

These memories are my prison

The price for what I’ve done.

There’s No rest for the forsaken

No charity for the cheat

No heart for the heartbroken

No forgiveness for a sinner’s pleas.