A Charade

It seems to me all a charade,

Just say what you’re wanting to say.

Why continue living this game,

Why go on in  agonizing pain?

You say, ‘Who knows what will happen now?

We’ll see what the future holds,”

but even now, you can’t even look at me,

As the heartache has taken its toll.

Love was lost so long ago,

what is it we are waiting for,

it’s too late to turn back now,

it’s too hard to close this door.

And so the draft come barreling in,

As our hearts grow colder still,

towards love, towards each other, towards all others,

as ever weaker grows the will.

And so we continue to lay our heads,

on the same cold and heartless bed,

Only to rise once again,

In the morning, our thoughts left unsaid.

And so, the emptiness continues to grow,

With indifference latched in tow,

And sweet bitterness takes ahold,

Until we are ready to let it go.

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Not tonight

You say you walk on egg shells,

but you’re a fucking liar.

You walk on the coals you lit,

one after another.

you say that you are tired

of the constant accusations

just give you a chance you say,

neglecting my heart-wrenching frustrations.

Another skirt, another eyelash,

Batted just your way.

You say, “I have no control over that.”

As you dig into another slice of cake.

You’ve no concern for the hell I’ve endured,

hoping one day you’d notice the pain,

Of the woman in the shadows waiting,

the diamond, now a dead-weighted chain.

She’s the woman you once chased,

with promises of undying love and affection

Now, you simply await your escape,

to finally be rid of your affliction.

She is waiting too,

Like  a moth to a flame, she’s tried.

But what’s been done, can never be undone,

as what was once undying, dies.

She is wretched now, as her shoulders slump this night.

She is preparing to tell her 9 year old son.

Daddy isn’t coming home tonight.

Seeing red

I could feel the heat rising,

Red anger on my face,

The tears stung in my eyes,

Like my hand across your face.

Our son sat waiting

For his 4th birthday to begin

You’d lied to me for months

Why on this day admit your sin?

I told u to keep quiet

Just shut your fucking mouth

For once think of someone

Other than yourself.

U didn’t care what I had to say

U didn’t care about your son

U didn’t care what day it was

U wanted solace for what you’d done.

As if I didn’t know

As if I believed your every lie

Ur a fucking coward

The guilt ate you alive.

U didn’t just ruin the day

U ruined all our lives

U ruined everything before or since

With your constant Web of lies.

I’d given you everything,

Supported you through thick and thin

But I was not enough

You wanted more than one could give.

You wanted money but had no job,

You wanted love but couldn’t share,

Not your life, your love, or your commitment,

Did you even fucking care?

I gathered up my son,

Packed our things away

I headed for the door

There was nothing left to say.